South Park's Prodigal Son
by Traban16
Summary: Stan's 16th birthday rolls around, turn his mother into a total bitch. Wanting to piss her off, Stan goes "camping" with his two closest friends... and Cartman. Too bad shit gets a little too real once Stan discovers THE SECRET his mother wanted nothing more than to take to her grave. Now Stan finds out what it means to live up to a parent's legacy... and expectations...


**A/N**: New story! New story! Ain't it amazing just how many stories I come up with, and never finish? I know, I'm so awesome. Haha, but seriously, I've had this idea since I originally came up with "Just Difference" and "Perfect Little Mistake".

**Summary**: When Stan's 16th birthday rolls around, his mother begins to act suspicious and avoids him like the plague. Stan gets annoyed by this and thinks to rebel by going on "one last adventure" with his two closest friends... and Cartman. It's just too bad that this last adventure starts a slew of others once Stan discovers the secret his mother wanted to take to her grave. Now Stan is finding out what it really means to live up to a parent's expectations. It's just too bad his real dad has some pretty big and awesome shoes to fill.

**Chapter 1: One Last Adventure**

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"Hey dude, I brought you a present."

Stan snapped around so fast that his neck cracked while the book he had been reading was carelessly dropped onto the floor in front of his couch. The library would give him crap about his "disregard for the wonder of literature", but in the presence of receiving presents, Stan could not give less of a fuck. Coming into the house, and not having even bothered to knock because they had just been letting themselves in for the past six years, were his friends… oh, and Cartman. There was Kenny, with his hood down as he scratched at the back of his head. There was Cartman, looking slightly displeased for some reason. And there was Kyle, standing in front of both of them as he held his hands behind his back while smiling coyly at Stan.

"What'cha get me?' Stan asked, sitting up properly as his friends gathered in front of him.

"Guess first." Kyle really was an asshole that way.

"Did you buy me a puppy?" Stan asked hopefully, missing Sparky and the bond they had shared as a boy and his dog.

"Umm… hell no. Your mom's already on a warpath. If I brought a dog in here, I think she'd castrate me, dude!" Kyle said, glancing into the kitchen where Stan's mother had been when they had come in, but she must have run upstairs for something.

"Besides, we already brought Kenny," Cartman said bitterly, to which he was kicked by the mentioned blond. "Ow! Dammit, Kenny! Mangy mutt!"

"No cats, right?" Stan asked distractedly as he picked up his book, then gave Kyle a sour look.

"Dude, I know you hate cats." Kyle said, hands still behind his back.

"Then what, dude! I'm through guessing. Just tell me!" Stan said as he hopped from the couch, but the small box Kyle had was quickly tossed to Kenny.

"Dude, you aren't going to propose to me, right?" Stan asked as he looked at the box Kenny held up proudly, as though he had scored some kinda winning touchdown. "Because I think I'm supposed to do that to you, puffball."

"Stan, don't start with me, or else I'll give your gift to Kenny." Kyle warned as he took a seat on the couch.

"Then what is it?" Stan asked as he stared intently at the box. For some reason, he knew it wasn't a ring or any kind of jewelry. Besides, Kyle knew he didn't like jewelry much.

"It's something you wanted really bad for the last three months." Kyle said as Stan thought hard.

"Dude, I don't think the new Farcry 3 game can fit in that-"

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Stan!" Kyle threw his hands up in defeat. "It's the tickets, you ass-hat!"

"Tickets?" Stan echoed in bewilderment.

"Yes! The tickets!" Kyle repeated with emphasis. "Ya know, to that stupid thing you wanted to go to next week."

"It's a concert, and it's not stupid." Stan shot back playfully, sticking out his tongue. "Besides, you got all of us one; even Cartman. There are four tickets in there, so I don't see what you're complaining about." Stan said as he pointed a finger at the small box in Kenny's hands.

Kyle said up at that, blinking ever so slightly as he shared confused looks with Kenny and Cartman.

"How'd you know that dude?" Kyle asked as Stan rolled his eyes.

"Oh please. You'd never give me a concert ticket and not go with me." Stan said, plotting down on the couch next to Kyle. "You're too afraid another cult will get me to challenge the Gods of Rock and become the new God of Rock before empowering the cult with control of the music business."

"That was kinda fucked up, Stan." Kenny grimaced, "You were a massive dick, and you crushed me with your guitar pick."

"Huh?" Stan asked, not remembering that occurrence.

"Nothing." Kenny said smoothly, tossing the small box at Stan, who caught it with a sort of grace born from his athletic prowess.

Opening the box, Stan delicately took out the topmost ticket and clutched at its sides as though it were liable to smudge if he breathed on it too hard.

"Zimmer's Rain, here I come…" Stan breathed as he pocketed his ticket.

"Here _we_ come, asshole." Cartman corrected as he snatched the second ticket before anyone else could.

"Did you have to get him one?" Stan asked flatly as Kyle shrugged, looking as though he wished he hadn't.

"He got the number to order them, so I couldn't say no when he was blocking the pen and paper while I was ordering the tickets." Kyle explained as Stan nodded. He supposed one night of awesome was worth Cartman's prolonged presence. And if they were lucky, Kyle mentally added, someone might hold the fat-ass hostage in exchange for Captain Crunch again.

"Wait," Stan said suddenly, "I thought these were sold out?"

"They are, but we ordered these as soon as you went on your massive bitch-spree about them." Cartman informed as Stan cast him a dirty look.

"I did not go on a bitch-spree."

"Stanny-boy, you were acting like Tamar Braxton would if she lost American Idol." Kenny snickered at his own joke while Cartman gave a snort of amusement.

Just as Stan was about to give a response, his mother came thundering down the stairs, looking more hostile and pissed off than Stan had ever really seen her. She normally got like this around the weeks forming his birthday. On the actual day in commemoration to his birth, his mother returned to her normal loveable-self, but then after she would hold up in her room for hours, daring anyone to disturb her lest they wish to face her violent wraith. Even Stan himself couldn't escape her anger, and he was the birthday boy.

"Umm… Mom, are you-"

"I am just fine, Stanley." Sharon Marsh hissed, looking both physically and emotionally drained as she cast a dark look over her shoulder. "Do you and your friends want anything? I'm preparing for you party, so…"

But Stan didn't hear anymore of her extremely thin attempt at masking her volatile mood. His birthday, October 19th, was always some sort of affair for his mother to get all worked up over. Honestly, it was the biggest annual event in South Park. Stan briefly wondered if his mom got so worked up because he was getting older or if she just had some deep-seeded competitive side where she tried to outdo herself each year. His mother always through him a marvelous party, one which was talked about all year until New Years and then pondered afterward on what the next one would be like. This year it seemed his mother would be throwing him a good ol' fashion house party for his sixteenth birthday. And that was all fine and good, but…

This year, his mother seemed especially furious about whatever had been building for the past many years. He wondered if he was the cause, because it was only around his birthday that she acted like this. Was it his fault his mother was so angry? Was he the cause of her fiery temper skyrocketing?

Nah, it _had_ to be his dad somehow…

"… and you're sure you don't want any help, Mrs. Marsh?" Kyle was asking as Stan came out of his thoughts.

"I'm alright Kyle." Sharon said, furiously whipping cake batter in a bowl, "I want everything for Stanley's party to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect!"

"Okay… just asking…" Kyle said with a shrug, completely obvious to Sharon's volatile mood. It always amazed Stan how Kyle was the only one not disturbed by his mother's fury. Kyle just never seemed to see it.

"Dude, let's get the fuck outta here." Kenny whispered as he periodically threw cautious glances at the woman humming in the kitchen as though she were seconds from choking someone. "I think she's gonna murder one of us. Primarily me!"

"You're exaggerating." Kyle assured, but got up from the couch none the less.

"Your mom, Stanny," Cartman shook his head mockingly as he clicked his teeth, "She just has so much sand up her vagina…"

Sharon might have heard the comment as she slammed the mixing bowl to the kitchen countertop and stomped from the room, going up the stairs where she proceeded to screech her head off at her lazily husband who had not gotten out of bed.

"Yeah, dudes," Stan said, quickly getting up from the couch and grabbing his coat, along with the keys to the family's third car. It was merely one Shelley had left behind after their parents had gotten her a brand-new one upon graduation. "Let's get the fuck outta here right now."

"Right behind ya!" Kenny exclaimed, rushing for the door as Stan and Kyle beat him to it. Cartman cast one last glance up at the stairs where Sharon's yelling had resumed before shaking his head in disappoint. Cartman left from the house, closing the door gently so they would not have to hear the bat-shit crazy woman yell at them as they peeled off.

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**So, what do you guys think? Like it? Love it?! HATE IT?! Want to beat it when its back is turned in a dark alley? Leave a comment below, and let me know! And if you wanna read more, just click my penname up above to see more!**

**Bye, Bye!**

**-Traban16**


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